are you using JBoss3.2.2 final? We had exactly the same problem, and if you ask me, it is simply a bug. We switched back to 3.2.2RC4, and the same configuration worked just fine, no problems anymore when connecting from a remote client. Also, maybe you would like to read this:
This does seem to be a bug 3.2.2 and the new bind address property. You have a couple of choices. You can use the RMIConnectionFactory which still seems to work but is less efficient or you can modify the appropriate service file(s) in JBoss's jms deploy directory.
FYI see this message http://www.jboss.org/modules/bb/index.html?module=bb&op=viewtopic&t= tried this with UIL2 by removing the jboss.bind.address field and it worked for us. You are using OIL so you would need to modify oil-service.xml.
I am hoping this will be fixed in 3.2.3 but I haven't tried 3.2.3RC1 yet.
Thank you very much for your responses, we do use jboss 3.2.2 final. I'll try switching it to RC4 or move to 3.2.3.