Strange, now the update does work... I don't know, what I have been doing. My appologizes.
The delete/recreate issue is still valid - I understand, the file is in reality still there, but I would expect different behavior (overwrite confirmation? uh, even if the resource is deleted, it would make sense)
The fact that you can't just delete and re-add a resource in guvnor is due to the versioning, as you don't really remove it, you simply remove it from the latest version, it still exists in older versions. We know this is a limitation, we're looking at how we could allow you to for example reactivate a version you removed before. You should however consider that in general you shouldn't override processes (as process instances might be executing using that definition), but rather add a new version of the process (e.g. include the version info in the process filename).
Regarding automatic updating of the console when you update the processes, this is not activated by default. When you create a session based on the process definitions in guvnor (using a KnowledgeAgent), you can decide whether you want your session to be automatically updated when guvnor is updated. By default, this is currently not activated. Note that restarting the jbpm-console will obviously make sure that the process definitions are reloaded from Guvnor, so that might be what you are seeing here.