Forget anything you see discussing domain mode or port 4447 none of that is applicable to you are you are using standalone mode.
Do you have an option to use a tool like wireshark to trace the traffic between the client and server? That may reveal more why the connection is failing.
Just to add I have also tested this scenario myself with the remote AS just to double check - authentication is working fine with the username and password specified so a network trace would help a lot to see what is different in your environment.
In addition to a network trace can you also attempt a remote connection using the CLI? That should also be over port 9999 and uses the exact same authentication as the jconsole connection so will be good to see if there is any issue there.
Thanks for the reply and help.
Not sure how to attach the dump file to the thread.
I uploaded to google doc
But following is the TCP stream i got
I also tried CLI, i am getting The controller is not available at remotehost:9999
I forgot to mention, i only get this when i am on VPN. I am still able to telnet to it and i can access the admin console on remotehost:9990.
If i log off vpn and be on the regular network it works. Hope there is just something wrong with the config =)
Thanks again for your help