I think you are looking for the INVALIDATION mode. In this mode in case if some entry is updated on node1, it notifies other nodes about deleting that entry if exists.
But INVALIDATION mode doesn't support replication, i.e. if some entry is just inserted to node1, it will not appear on node2.
I hope this will help.
Thanks a lot! So it really was just the wrong search terms. Will have to check whether replication is really required in our scenario, other than that this seems to be exactly what I've been looking for.