guess it would help to mention that it's UIL2
Look at the following settings (note: these are set on the client, not the server):
Thissystem property controls the number of attempts to retry connecting to the JMS server. Retries are made only for java.net.ConnectException failures. A value that is less than or equal to zero means no retry attempts will be made.
This system property controls the delay, in milliseconds, between retries due to ConnectException