Well what I have to tell you may not help, but here's the route I took and am satisfied with.
Originally I was familiar with Tomcat so was heading in that direction. I messed around trying to get this to work, and eventually found something on the web indicating that this was broken in Tomcat.
But after more investigation into the differences between Jetty and Tomcat, I concluded that Jetty performed on an equal (and probably better) level than Tomcat, and its design & development seemed more focused and better architected from its inception. As far as I have seen it's very J2EE1.3/Servlet2.3 compliant, which are my base reqs.
So I went with Jetty, which has really been well-behaved. I haven't load-tested it yet, but the load-test data I saw on it was sufficient for me, and it's been around for some time now, at least as long as Tomcat as I recall.
That's my story, no regrets. If you need any Jetty tips I can offer what I know.