I am experimenting with it and did not have a problem so far. Try starting it with vmargs 512.
may be that would help.
the normal mem issue is permgen space so beef that up and you should be fine.
with respect to your bullet points:
#1: generic server plugin is not part of jbosside (but WTP); we recommend using the jboss as specici plugins
#2: this is DTP
#3: available as an individual download (as is all our plugins) from the same place you got the whole jbosside setup
...regardding your crashes what is the stacktrace/error logs saying ?
Can anyone suggest tweaks to this ide to make it work better?
in your eclipse.ini and you should be fine. That at least ended the crashing for me :)