Did you try using JConsole from Infisnispan bin directory?
If you'd like to stick to jvisualvm, you will need to bootstrap it with additional parameter:
jvisualvm -cp:a ./infinispan-server/bin/client/jboss-client.jar
Next, we can either pick the local process or connect to some remote machine using this connection string :
service:jmx:remote+http://" + host + ":" + port
Please remember about using proper login and password (a user must be assigned to the ManagementRealm).